Green Eggs and Cam Newton

"No I will not eat green eggs and ham, Cam I am."

Cam Newton, scheduled to be the Carolina Panthers' number one, has just been given the playbook as homework before the season starts. However, there has been some 'adjustments' in the playbook to help Cam Newton learn the book quickly. In other words, the Carolina organization has 'dumbed-down' the book in order for Newton to understand the basics.

Here lies the issue. In an interview, Newton said: "That's Dr. Seuss compared to doggone Shakespeare". I interpret this in a few different ways.
First, Newton is referring to the difference in difficulty of the playbook compared with others, he basically said the Carolina Panthers needed to dumb it down so he can understand it.
Secondly, he is suggesting the Carolina Panthers do not trust his reading skills.
Thirdly, Newton has a hard time reading Shakespeare.
Fourthly, the Carolina Panthers are simpletons.
Fifthly, Shakespeare is superior to Dr. Seuss.
For more on this, read about it here.


In light of this, I took it upon myself to create the new cover of the playbook:

I feel it is appropriate, the top right corner would naturally display the Panthers' logo.

It appears Newton is happy with his contract and for his sake, I hope he gets some media training in Carolina before he moves forward. Carolina, who went 2-14 last year, is looking to the young QB to step it up. Still, he needs PR.
Next post: 'Newton Hears a Who' and 'One Miss Two Miss, Starting QB Back Up QB'.

I wish him well and as Anthony Jeselnik once said: you should probably read more.

Two minutes for two idiots, and Tiger Woods and Kevin Durant

No Class
Someone tell me what happens when athletes are on the off season and have time on their hands?
In one night, two 'class acts' got into trouble. Big time.

Making news today, August 5th, 2011:

Last night, Sean Avery was arrested after he pushed a cop. Apparently he was taunting the police by referring to them as 'Fat, Little Pigs'. After challenging them, he was arrested. AND now, he needs some PR, quick.

Last night, Michael Beasley pushed a fan in the face. He was being heckled at a streetball tourney at Dyckman in Washington. Consequences at this time are unknown but what we do know is that his reputation is about to take a hit. And now, he needs some PR, quick.

Haven't heard from either of these guys since the incident. I guess it is true that you only get one phone call when you're in jail.

Speaking of losers, Tiger Woods is looking to shoot worse than par this weekend. Does he still have what it takes or should we expect him to continue his slump. Tune in next week!
Either way, we all know his PR team is excellent and his media training is impeccable. Expect a sob story about his game not being up to 'par' and his failure to 'approach' his "drive" to win. If you didn't catch those, here's a glossary of golf terms.

On the plus side, let's look at the good things Kevin Durant is doing for the community, Oklahoma City Thunder and the NBA. Here's a look at his 'schedule' for the month of August (via TheScore.com):

  

His involvement in the community is quite impressive. Despite blowing out each opponent he faces single-handed, his impact on the regular, everyday people he is playing against is priceless. (I guess you can read more about Kevin Durant's social responsibility somewhere else, if you want to. I don't recommend leaving this blog though...ever.) This outreach will prove to enhance Durant's presence in the community and his worldwide reputation. He needs PR (in order to put this story in the press).

Too bad all athletes can't behave like Kevin Durant.